Leader Development: A Mentoring Checklist for Sons and Young Men

*This list is for men. For the checklist that is women-specific, please check out Mature Daughters

Note to Fathers

Fathers must be involved

This checklist of leadership competencies will be useless unless the father is involved in his son’s life. The father is the shepherd of his family, and his influence (for good or for bad) cannot be overstated. This booklet is given as a tool to help you be more systematic in the training of your sons. But it obviously cannot do the job for you.

Only leaders can reproduce leaders

Having a checklist to give to your sons will be of little value if you do not personally invest a lot of time in their lives. While teachers can help, only leaders really produce leaders. Teachers can produce teachers, but leaders will build leaders by imparting their life, values and methods into the new person. Paul said, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). This checklist is only a tool. It cannot replace the importance of your modeling male leadership to your son.

Dads must work with their sons to impart leadership skills

Though Deuteronomy 6 informs all homeschooling, it is particularly addressed to Dads and sons. Verse 7 particularly implies an involvement in every facet of your son’s life. Don’t leave the teenage years to your wife. The only way your son will learn male leadership is through watching and interacting with a male leader.

This was the pattern Jesus used

In Mark 3:14 it says about Jesus, “He appointed the twelve – designating them apostles – that they might be with him.” Why did they need to be with Him? Why did they have to follow Him around and live with Him? Because there was so much that Jesus had to show them. They watched him, then they imitated. How does an evangelist learn to evangelize? By being with an evangelist and watching him and imitating and practicing. And the same is true of leadership. If leadership could be learned from books, there would be many more leaders in the world than there are. Leadership training requires hands-on involvement in your sons’ lives.

This was the pattern God gave

And this has been the pattern right from Genesis chapter 2. God wanted Adam to take leadership in subduing the earth. So God planted a garden to model to Adam how to take dominion of the earth. It’s clear from Genesis 2:8-15 that Adam was present when God made the garden (see Gen. 2:8a, 9-14 with Gen. 2:8b, 15). Verse 15 says, “then the LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to tend and keep it”. God showed Adam, then told Adam, and then gave Adam a challenging task.

This was the pattern Paul used

Paul did the same. Paul invested in numerous leaders who were on his teams just as Christ invested in leaders by having them with Him (Mark 3:14). Much of leadership must be “caught” as well as “taught.” The disciples watched Jesus in every situation. They watched Him with good people and with bad people. They watched how He motivated people. They watched Him show compassion and learned that compassion is an important leadership value. They watched how He prayed. They watched Him cast out demons and heal the sick. They watched Him handle victories and they watched Him handle His death. They watched Him rejoice and weep over Jerusalem. They watched how He handled false teachers and self-righteous men.

I caught more of a passion for lost souls from seeing my father weeping on a mountaintop as he surveyed new unevangelized areas in Ethiopia than I did from his teaching on the importance of the Great Commission. It was watching leaders make tough decisions that helped me to make tough decisions. It was watching others have effective delegation that enabled me to start delegating more effectively. If you want to pass on a heritage of leadership values to your sons, you must be involved from a young age. Others will influence your sons as well, but God ordained that fathers be the first and most important leader builder in the kingdom.

2 Timothy 3:10 shows Paul’s leadership development of Timothy. It involved teaching of principles, but it involved so much more. He says, “But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch…” The first word that Timothy carefully followed was doctrine. Teaching and lecturing doctrine is very important. But he goes on to say, “manner of life.” There was an imitation of lifestyle as Timothy lived with, worked with and followed Paul. But then there were worldview issues such as vision, faith, handling of difficult situations and difficult people. Timothy learned how to respond in a godly way by watching Paul respond in a godly way to difficult circumstances. Verse 14 describes Paul’s life as it embodied doctrine and verse 15 gives the doctrine. Both were important. As parents we must invest both information and life into our children.

God is the ultimate leader builder

Another thing that is important to remember is that we are not the ultimate builders of leaders; God is. God is the leader of the universe (1Tim. 6:15), and He constantly raises up new leaders. Revelation 5:10 says, “You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God…” 1Corinthians 3:9 says “… you are God’s field, you are God’s building.” Before you ever began leadership training in your son, God was already at work in developing him to be a leader. And God will continue to develop your son.

Forests and trees

One of the purposes for offering this list of questions is to help parents be more systematic and thorough in their training. However, one of the dangers of having such a list is that it can sometimes blind us to what God is doing in our children’s lives. So another caution I want to give is to not be so pressured in getting through a 586 point agenda that you miss the lessons that God is teaching your child this week. Your child has a whole lifetime to mature, and it isn’t essential that every point be covered. I have had to learn to be flexible, sometimes throwing out what I had planned to teach my children, because a far more important lesson was pre-planned by our Heavenly Father. When my oldest son got into a car accident, the new experience offered many leadership training points that could easily have been missed – lessons in character as well as lessons in economics, parenting, conflict resolution, how to respond to integrity checks, how to grow in the face of persecution (he was the victim of another person’s road rage), etc. God strews hundreds of these kinds of lessons in our paths. Rather than seeing them as frustrating interruptions of our schedule, we must see them as perfect lessons from a loving Heavenly Father. Newspaper stories, political happenings, family tragedies, vacations can all be part of the overall plan to develop a leader out of your son. Sometimes you may consciously be making a lesson. At other times no comment is needed. You know your son has learned his lesson well.

God is orchestrating every detail of your son’s life

In a very real sense, we are simply cooperating with God in His work of leadership development. God has orchestrated many events from the time your child was born to prepare him to be the leader he was meant to be. Romans 8:28 says, “For we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” What is the good that God is working everything together to produce? The next verse indicates that it is being conformed to the image of Jesus. Just as Jesus’ leadership was conformed to the Father’s, ours is conformed to Christ’s by God. These are passive learning opportunities that illustrate the active lessons we are teaching our sons. This has made my job so much easier. Because my sons were taught to see God’s hand at work in their lives, they have become very motivated learners.

We can’t do this in our own strength

Finally, a father’s goal in life should not be to make a son depend upon dad as “the answer man.” Instead, it should be to show the child how to derive the strength, wisdom, joy and graces he needs from the fountainhead, Jesus Christ. Think of how Jesus developed in his leadership (see Luke 2:52). His parents were involved (v. 51), but it was the heavenly Father that was the source of all Christ’s leadership. These questions are not designed to make you fathers experts, but to be entry points into turning your sons’ hearts to the word and to God’s grace.

Jesus did nothing without the Father; we can do nothing without the Son

Everything Jesus did in His leadership flowed out of His relationship with the Father. He was fully and inwardly submitted to the Father’s will. He said, “For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of Him who sent Me.” (John 6:38). We have no authority when we are not submitted to God’s authority. All authority flows from God. We cannot give life if we are not experiencing life from God. We do not have power and joy if we are not experiencing God’s power and joy. Jesus said in John 5:19, “Most assuredly I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.” The Father was the source of all Christ’s words and works and wisdom and power. In John 5:30 Jesus said, “by myself I can do nothing.” If that is true of the greatest leader of all time, then it is certainly true of us. In John 15:5 Jesus said, “Without Me you can do nothing.” But the same verse says that if we abide in Christ we will bear much fruit. Paul said, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). The nature of our leadership is reflected by the strength of our fellowship with the Triune God. If we want our leaders (that we are training) to have the savor of Christ, then we need to make sure that we teach them how to enter into union with Christ and how to abide in union and fellowship with Christ. Consider the following Scriptures:

Verses that illustrate our need of Christ in leadership

Colossians 3:16 – “Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly…” When everything we do is saturated with the Word of God, it will transform our ministry.

Colossians 3:17 – everything must be done in the name of Christ. When we died in Christ, we lost our old identity and we no longer have the authority to do things in our own name. But truly doing all things in Christ’s name causes us to enter into a revolutionary power that no secularist can have. God doesn’t want us simply teaching our children competencies. He wants us living a supernatural life.

Ephesians 1:3 – “blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.” This verse shows that God has not shortchanged us in this important process of growing in leadership. He has already blessed us with everything we need in His heavenly bank account. We must now write checks on this account by faith. Teaching our children how to live by faith is one of the most important lessons we can teach.

2Corinthians 12:9 – “that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Doctrine in our heads is a good thing, but Paul wanted his hearers to experience the reality of God’s power. We do not want to train our children to have a form of godliness, but to completely miss out on the power of true godliness (2 Timothy 3:5).

Ephesians 2:6 – “raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” We have a new authority in Christ that we would not have in ourselves. To pray from our throne in heaven is to pray with an authority that moves mountains. It is critical that our children learn more than simply the ritual of prayer. It is important that they be shown how to connect with heaven.

Colossians 2:5 – “in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” This verse shows that in Christ we can have all the leadership wisdom we need for the moment. It is critical that our sons be taught how to think God’s thoughts after Him.

Apart from life, which flows from Christ, leadership is weak

Just as Christ revealed the fact that He was in fellowship with the Father, the apostles showed clearly that they were in fellowship with Christ. Acts 4:13 says, “Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus.” They realized by their leadership that they had been with Jesus. The fellowship that these apostles had with Christ gave to them an authority, confidence and power in their leadership that none of the seminary trained rabbis had. The rabbis had vast training, but they lacked the authority, confidence and power of the apostles. There was something about the apostles’ presence and character that transcended the credentials of the world. Being with Christ impacts our leadership far more profoundly than reading about Christ. If leaders are healthy leaders, the reaction of others will be the same. They will see a life transformation.

Luke 6:40 says, “A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher.” That is dealing with far more than facts. The Bible speaks of transference of life, character, and competencies. And doing that requires spending much time with the Teacher. Good leadership will exhibit more and more of Christ’s leadership character, but this can only happen as we are sensitive to His ongoing training work in our lives. Christ is the ultimate builder of leaders. And what He does not build in us will be burned up as hay, wood and stubble. It is being like Christ that is important in leadership development. Without it, all the skills we build are garbage. But no matter what opposition a leader may face, if He is in fellowship with God, He will be able to stand.

In John 14:21 Jesus said, “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.” The strength that comes from fellowship with the Triune God will carry a leader through the toughest times.

May the Lord prosper your efforts as you use this guide to raise sons who expect great things from God and attempt great things for Him.


Mentoring Progress Checklist

Son, your goal is to become a shepherd of a family and a leader in the community. Following is a profile of very specific leadership competencies in which we men should strive, by God’s grace, to be strong. Do not be discouraged by the results as no one has arrived on all of these points. But they do form a basis by which you can measure the level of your growth and the areas of training still needed. They can also be a means by which you can discern where you need to compensate for your weaknesses. (Every leader has strengths and weaknesses and a wise leader will bring strong men onto his leadership team who can compensate for those weaknesses.) Remember that the goal of this is to guide you in the path of growing in holiness and growing in leadership skill. Confess your sins and failings to God remembering Christ is your faithful high priest and shepherd – the Shepherd of shepherds! (Heb. 4:16) Rejoice in your weaknesses and let them drive you to depend upon Christ and receive help from His people. Prayerfully set goals. Ask people to pray for you and hold you accountable. Above all, do not let Satan discourage you with the results. Instead, rejoice in the fact that throughout Scripture God used weak and sinful creatures to accomplish his will. But do not let that fact keep you from pressing toward the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Phil. 3:14). Remember that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:6).

Rank yourself in each of the competencies that follow. Fill in each blank according to this scale:

12345
Strongly AgreeAgreeUncertain/NeutralDisagreeStrongly Disagree

Press the Tab key to go move from field to field. Answers will be remembered if you close the page and come back later.

Communication

Proverbs 10:19 says, “In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking.” If that is true, leaders will be ever prone to stumble if they do not have a great deal of maturity in speech. Since God measures our words (Matt. 12:36-37; Psalm 19:14; Mal. 3:16-18; Prov. 6:16-19; Numb. 12:1-15; James 5:19), and since words reflect our inner self (Matt. 12:33-35; James 3:11), and since Satan is very interested in destroying ministry through our words (James 3:1-12), and since God calls us to submit our tongues to His lordship (Psalm 12:4), it is important that we evaluate our speech.

I am ready to teach my future family the Biblical principles of communication. I am quite mature in living out those principles of communication. I can think through the appropriate motive, goal and standard for speech. I am sensitive to the circumstances when I speak (e.g. Prov. 27:14; Prov. 15:1). I sometimes try to cheer people’s spirits through laughter (Prov. 17:22; 12:25; 15:13,15) I try to minister with letters (or phone) to distant friends, relatives or missionaries (Prov. 25:25) I can always be trusted to keep my word (Matt. 5:37). I am not hasty with my words (Prov. 29:30; James 1:19). I feel comfortable admonishing people when needed (Rom. 15:14). But, since love covers a multitude of sins, I recognize that there are times when patience is called for rather than rebuke (1Thes. 5:14). I try to avoid arguments and quarrels (2Tim. 2:24). I enjoy greeting others (Rom. 16:3-6,16). I honor magistrates and others in authority over me even when I disagree with them (Prov. 23:5; Ex. 22:28; Jude 8). I honor those who are older than me (1Tim. 5:1-2; Lev. 19:32). For example, I do not rebuke an older man, but entreat him as a father (1Tim. 5:1). I speak respectfully to my parents. I do not gossip (Prov. 16:27-28). I keep private things private and do not broaden the circle of those who need to know about a sin beyond the circle of those who are helping (Matt. 18:15; Prov. 11:12-13). I do not listen to gossip, but immediately reprove it (Prov. 17:4) or ask what solution the speaker and I are going to bring to the situation (since being privy means that both of us must be part of the solution). I have learned when it is useless to reprove someone (Prov. 9:8). I value the rebukes of others (Psalm 141:5; Ecc. 7:5). I give true praise rather than flattery (Ps. 12:3) and I understand the difference between the two. I am not overly harsh with others, but seek to be gentle (Prov. 12:18; Eph. 4:2,5; 2Tim. 2:24). I do not trouble my house (Prov. 11:29) with constant nagging (Prov. 19:13; 21:9,19). I don’t always speak my mind, but instead seek to be short on words (Prov. 10:19; 12:13; 13:3; 18:7; 21:23; Ecc. 5:3). I do not take the name of the Lord in vain, even with euphemisms (such as Golly, Gosh, Cripes, Jeesh, etc.) I do not needlessly denigrate a person with name-calling (Matt. 5:22). I immediately repent of my lies and confess them to others (Prov. 12:22; Eph. 4:25). I do not cover my lies by saying, “I was only joking” (Prov. 26:19). I frequently turn away anger with a soft answer (Prov. 15:1). The Spirit prompts me to speak a word of blessing that was just right, or is in the right timing (Prov. 15:23; 25:11). My words are constructive rather than tearing down (Prov. 12:18; 15:4). And even when they are words that do hurt, they are a loving hurt designed to promote health (Prov. 27:6). I am known as a person with “sweetness of lips” (Prov. 16:21,24). People tend to appreciate me because of the way I say things (Prov. 22:11). I do not tear down government (whether civil, church or family), but rather seek to constructively promote righteousness (Prov. 11:11; Acts 23:5; Ex. 22:28; Jude 8).
Average for Communication:

Do not be discouraged if you have done poorly on this part of the survey. And do not allow pride to keep you from a time of real growth. Instead, be encouraged that you have a mentor who values character development just as much as theological development. God is bringing these issues before you so you can learn and grow.


Joy

God made families as a training ground for character. If your brothers and sisters (and parents) were always easy to get along with, there would be no tests of character that would be opportunities for growth. If your family robs you of your joy, you are not yet ready to go out into the world. Anyone who reaches out to the hurting and disadvantaged (as godly leaders should – see James 1:27), will begin to see the seamier side of life. You will find that your work is rarely appreciated; you will receive opposition, slander and have hurt feelings. But it is possible to have great joy in your ministry despite these things. Satan will attempt to rob you of your joy in ministry, and it is important that you learn how to rejoice in the midst of adverse circumstances. “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Neh. 8:10) God’s Spirit-given joy is quite different from natural joy.

Natural joy

Joking, clowning around and humor can make people feel better, but if it is natural joy, it will lead to emptiness and not fully satisfy (Ecc. 2:2; 7:6; Prov. 14:13). Aesthetic joy over beauty, music, social galas, orations, poetry has sustained people during times of grief and pain, but though spiritual joy can involved these things, it goes far beyond them. Joy over spiritual things is possible for the unregenerate, but it is temporary (Ezekiel 33:30-33; Is. 58:1-2; Matt. 13:20-21). While natural joy is OK, none of this is the “fullness of joy” that Scripture speaks of (John 15:11; 16:24; 1John 1:4; 2John 12; 1Pet. 1:8)

Spiritual joy

Compatible with tribulation (“I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation” 2Cor. 6:4) Compatible with sorrow (“as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” 2Cor. 6:10).

The following questions will help you to discern whether you need to grow in this supernatural joy of the Lord.

Measuring your fellowship with God by your joy

Do you delight in private prayer and gain deep satisfaction from your devotions? Do you gain deep satisfaction throughout the day by the knowledge of God’s presence with you?

Measuring your knowledge by your joy

Are you a biblical realist who sees things from God’s perspective? (2Chron. 20) Are you known to have a positive outlook on life? (Can you see the silver lining on the storm clouds?) Do you avoid being overcome by tragedy or discouraging events; are you sustained by a knowledge of God’s provisions? Does the thought of forgiveness, peace with God, assurance of salvation, and victory over temptation give you a deep satisfaction?

Measuring your worship by your joy

Do you find great joy in worship? (Is. 56:7; 2:2-3) Does this joy depend upon aesthetics (music, oratory, etc.), or is it also present if your church is like a dungeon (cf. Acts 16:25)? Are your “Amen’s” and “Praise the Lord’s” an expression to God of a heart that is burning (as opposed to being a mere social loyalty)? Are you known as a singing Christian because of your joy in singing? Is singing merely a convention to you, or do you find yourself meaning the words and singing them to the Lord?

Measuring your Spirit infilling by your joy

Do you engage in service with joy rather than merely as a duty? (Dt. 28:47; Ps. 100:2) Does this joy give you enthusiasm and perseverance in your labors (Neh. 8:10)? Do you have a deep joy in the midst of suffering (as opposed to being conquered by adversity?)? (Acts 5:41; Matt. 5:11-12; 2Cor. 6:4,10; 1Thes. 1:6). Does your joy give you boldness in witness? (Acts 5:41-42; 4:29-33)
Average for Joy:

Faith

Scripture says, "without faith it is impossible to please God." This is obviously a critical area of concern. Families and ministries rise or fall based on the faith of the leaders. Hebrews 11 says that everything is to be done through faith. However, faith is not static. It is not a situation where you either have it or you don't. The Bible says that we can grow in faith (2Thes. 1:3), and so the disciples ask Christ, "Increase our faith" (Luke 17:5). Rom. 12:3 speaks of the measure of faith that God gives. 1Tim. 4:6 speaks of nourishing us in the words of faith. Thus the Bible speaks of no faith, dead faith, little faith (Matt. 6:30; 8:26; 14:31; 16:8; Luke 12:28), weak faith (Rom. 4:19; 14:1), and futile faith. It also speaks of sincere faith (1Tim. 1:5), great faith (Matt. 8:10), full of faith (Acts 6:5), rich in faith (James 2:5), increasing faith (2Cor. 10:15), growing faith (2Thes. 1:3), strong in faith (Rom. 4:20), firm faith (Col. 2:5 NIV), strengthened faith (Col. 2:7 NIV), and mature faith (James 2:22). In Hebrews 12:2 it says that Christ is the author and perfecter of our faith.

Faith is important. We are not only justified by faith (Eph. 2:8), but have access to God by faith (Rom. 5:1-2), are purified by faith (Acts 15:9), sanctified by faith (Acts 26:18) and live by faith (Gal. 3:11). Christ dwells in our hearts by faith (Eph. 3:17) and we approach God with freedom and confidence by faith (Eph. 3:12). Through faith we inherit the promises (Heb. 6:12) and understand God's power, workings, and will (Heb. 11:3). Faith produces obedience (Rom. 1:5), protects from Satan's attacks like a shield (Eph. 6:16) and as a breastplate (1Thes. 5:8). Faith is the victory that overcomes the world (1John 5:4). Twice the Bible tells us to pursue faith (1Tim. 6:11; 2Tim. 2:22). Again, Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith it is impossible to please God. It was weakness of faith that most disappointed Christ in His ministry. Five times He said, "O you of little faith!" Three times He spoke of their lack of faith. He asked, "Do you still have no faith?" (Mark 4:40). "Where is your faith?" (Luke 8:25) Twice He praised the faith of Gentiles and said that He hadn't found such faith in all Israel. He mentioned His disappointment over His disciples little or no faith ten times. Is Jesus satisfied with your faith? Are you growing in faith? Have you asked God to increase your faith? And if He has increased your faith, how would you know? Is there an objective standard of measurement?

Faith is probably the most difficult aspect of our spiritual life to measure for three reasons:

  1. It is unseen except as evident in prayer, attitude and actions. We can think we have faith and yet be deceived. James tells us to show him our faith by our works.
  2. Faith may be accepted by God long before the results are seen on earth. Daniel's prayers are a good example (Dan. 10:12-13)
  3. God makes us wait at times to bring about greater results (Is. 30:18).

Measure your faith by your response to circumstances

Are you able to trust God when the going gets tough? Is Romans 8:28 a firm conviction of yours even when circumstances are tough?

Measure your faith by your attitudes toward God

I can honestly say with Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15) Measure your faith by your assurance that God is too good to forget you, too wise to make a mistake, too loving to let you be ultimately hurt or be the loser, and too mighty to ever be defeated.

Measure your faith by your response to Scripture

Do the promises of Scripture buoy your spirits? Do you believe the Scriptures even when it is not politically correct to do so, or even when it bucks peer pressure? Do you experience God speaking to you through the Bible? When you meditate on Scripture do you find it changing your attitudes?

Measure your faith by your obedience and action

Paul speaks of the “obedience of faith” (Romans 1:5; 16:26) and every example of faith in Hebrews 11 is of some aspect of tough obedience. Measure your faith by the consistency with which you do the right thing even though it scares you to death or is uncomfortable. Do you believe in action (such as pro-life action, evangelism, etc) but rarely do the action, or are your actions consistent with your theology? Do you tithe even when it seems like you won’t be able to make ends meet?

Measure your faith by your vision

Do you believe that the Great Commission can be and will be accomplished? Do you really believe God can change tough hearts (or do you tend to give up on them)? Do you consciously think of laying up treasures in heaven? Do you believe that God sends angelic protection (2 Kings 6:17)? Do you believe God’s promise that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13) or do you give up on things God has convicted you to do?

Measure your faith by your outflowing streams

John 7:38-39 promises that those who believe in Christ will have rivers of living water flowing out of their innermost being. What kind of rivers flow out of you? Rivers of love or rivers of bitterness; rivers of joy or of dreariness and despair; rivers of life or of death? I regularly minister to my siblings through kind deeds, actions and words. God has brought me to the place where I find joy in serving my parents.

Measure your faith by your initiative

I take risks in advancing God’s cause, just as Abraham left his home to follow God’s call. I don’t have to see all the way to the end before I am will to tackle a project that is Biblical. I anticipate the desires of my parents and do them without being told.

Measure your faith by your perseverance

I believe Galatians 6:9 (that we will reap if we do not lose heart) and therefore I do not easily get discouraged. I do not give up on Biblical projects even when they are boring and hard. I am confident that I will be able to finish everything God has given to me. Do others see you as reliable?

Measure your faith by your ability to praise God

Praise is a regular part of my life. I find myself praising God even when I have just gotten a flat tire, or a leaking roof, or a sprained ankle or opposition of the neighbors (2Chron. 20:20-22; cf. Paul & Silas) Faith causes me not to despair, even though I am perplexed (2Cor. 4:8)
Average for Faith:

Prayer

If it is true that without Jesus we can do nothing (John 15:5), then we should continue “steadfastly in prayer” (Rom. 12:12) and “pray without ceasing” (1Thes. 5:17). According to the apostles, the two most important parts of ministry are ministering the Word and prayer (Acts 6:4). When you grow up you will likely be the pastor of your home, and must be engaged in prayer. Prayer will make or break a ministry. Yet prayer is one of the things that Christians struggle with the most.

Measure your prayer life by your sense of communion with God

Do you look forward to spending time with God? Do you commune with God in worship service? Is your heart drawn out to God in the Lord’s Supper? Do you have a constant awareness of God’s presence/power/ love, etc. like Enoch did? Do you have any special times when you are aware of God’s overwhelming presence? Do you long to bring holy satisfaction to God? Is the intimacy of Romans 8:15 an experienced reality? (“For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out ‘Abba, Father.’”)

Measure the breadth of your intercessory life

Is your intercession wide enough to include your whole community? local officials by name? other churches? pastors? Are you a spiritual watchman for your church? for your city? for your nation? Do you pray for *all* who are in authority? (1Tim. 2:1-2) other nations? world leaders? world problems? Do you have a list that you pray from (or do you just go from memory)?

Measure your prayers by the depth of your life

Do you ever weep or groan over those for whom you are interceding? (Rom. 8:26) Are your intercessions merely born as a duty, or do you carry a great spiritual burden? Is the phrase “pray without ceasing” (1Thes. 5:17) a reality for you, even though no words may come to your mind. In other words, is God’s presence and communion a continual reality throughout the day?

Measure your prayers by the height of your life

Do you ever sense that you have reached the throne of grace? Has God given you assurance of an answer? How many answered prayers have you received? Have you recorded them? Are you bold in asking for answers that are worthy of a King? or are your requests smaller than God? Are there times when you are so caught up in prayer that you lose track of time?

Measure your prayers by the length of your life

How would you answer Christ’s question: “Could you not keep watch with me for one hour?” How many times has the Holy Spirit given you a special prayer burden? What is the length of your prayer list? How long have you persevered in praying for one person? Do you find an hour of prayer quite common? Has God ever given you such a burden for prayer that it has stretched out longer?
Average for Prayer:

Disciplines of Thought

Usually my thoughts are about praiseworthy things (Phil. 4:8). I don’t tend to focus on the faults, failures, and sins of others, or at least I do not let those faults blind me to what God has accomplished of good in another’s life. For the most part, I have gained purity of mind, and do not dwell upon impure thoughts. I can teach others how to gain purity of thought and freedom from pornographic images. My mind is not always preoccupied with material things, though I see all of this material life as a good gift from God. God’s peace usually rules in my heart (Col. 3:15). I do not hunger for the praise of men, nor am I disappointed when I fail to receive such praise. I memorize Scripture every week. I meditate on Scripture regularly. My thoughts do not wander during worship.
Average for Disciplines of Thought:

Humility

I focus more on my own need than I do on the failures of others. I esteem others better than myself and do not tend to look down on others. I recognize my need of God and of the body and do not tend to have a self-sufficient or independent spirit. I am more likely to yield rights rather than demanding rights. I am more motivated to serve others than to be served. I love letting others get the credit even when I have done much of the work. I keep being more amazed by how much I still have to learn, rather than having the attitude that I know it all. I am more concerned with being real than with being respectable. I am more concerned with what God thinks of me than with what others think. I am quick to admit failure and to ask for forgiveness. I am able to acknowledge specifics when I confess my sin. I take the initiative to get reconciled (even when I am not in the wrong) rather than waiting for the other person to come and ask forgiveness. I tend to see myself as being far less holy than God rather than comparing myself to others and thinking of myself as being pretty good. I want the Scriptures to uncover unknown sins. Psalm 141:5 is true of me: “Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me; it shall be an excellent oil; let my head not refuse it.” I receive criticism with an open spirit of wanting to grow in grace. I find it just as easy to pray in private as to pray when others notice me. After I have done a great job, I can agree with the statement, “I am an unworthy servant of the Lord; I am only doing what is my duty to do” (Luke 17:10). I daily pray to God because I sense my total dependence upon Him (Phil. 1:21). I recognize that all my competencies come from God (2Cor. 3:5-6). I regularly give God all the glory. I thank God when I do something embarrassing, because it is one more opportunity to crucify my fleshly pride. It is my desire that I might decrease and Christ increase (John 3:30). I am able to bless others when they curse me (Rom. 12:14) I tend to yield my rights more than I claim rights. I don’t have a demanding spirit. I am quick to forgive others who have hurt me, knowing how much I have sinned against God (Eph. 4:32).
Average for Humility:

Developing a Sonship Relationship vs. an Orphan Heart

View of God: I see God as a loving father, dependable and consistent. Not as a harsh master. Dependency: I have full trust in God and am dependent on him. I am not self-reliant. Approval: I am secure in justification and the love of God. I am not seking the approval of man. Motive for service: I serve out of gratitude for God's acceptance, as an expression of love for God, motivated by God's love for us. Not personal achievement, trying to impress others. Ethics: God's acceptance gives me a secure framework for enjoying the law, liberty. I don't look to rules as a framework for gaining acceptance. Security: I feel rest, security, peace. Disciplines: I find the disciplines to be a means of enjoying God, not a duty or for brownie points. Holiness: I want to be holy, I delight in holy intimacy with God. Self-image: I am humble, confident, joyful in acceptance, I feel sorrow when God is displeased, but no loss in acceptance. Comfort: I find comfort in solitude with God, and enjoy my relationship with God. I do not seek comfort in addictions, compulsions, escapism, busyness, hyper-activity. Peers: I am able to rejoice over others people's blessings. I do not feel rivalry or jealousy. Handling faults of others: My love covers other people's faults, I am gentle and patient. I do not accuse or expose others to make them look bad and make myself look good by comparison. View of authority: I respect authority, seeing it as God's gift. I do not distrust authority or view it as a source of pain. View of admonition: I view admonishment as a blessing, I want my sins exposed and put to death. I do not resist admonition out of insecurity or because I must be right. Expression of love: I am open, patient, laying down my own agendas to meet the needs of others. I am not guarded, conditional, expressing love based on the performance of others. Sense of God's presence: I see God as close and intimate, not conditional and distant. Condition: I feel libertated, not in bondage. Position: I feel like a child of God, not like an unappreciated servant. Vision: I have a vision to experience more of God's grace, power, and presence in service, and to see His cause and kingdom advanced. I do not have a vision for seeking recognition. Future: I enjoy the fact that God's future is perfect and ushers me into more of my inheritance.
Average for Sonship Relationship:

Self-Denial/Mortification of Sin/Crucifixion

I fast more than once a year. I get up when the alarm goes off. I am self-disciplined in my schedule. At the end of the day, I evaluate how I have done spiritually. When trying to overcome my sins, I do homework that crucifies the underlying motivation for the sin. (See Adam’s put offs and put ons.) I have developed a daily discipline of memorization of Scripture and meditation on those Scriptures. I typically do the responsible thing rather than the easy thing. I am quick to repent. I do not give up in despair when I fall into sin. Instead, I find cleansing and hope in the cross of Jesus Christ and get back up to engage myself once again in the battle. (“You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin” in Heb. 12:4 is basically saying, “Where are your war wounds? How serious are you in your spiritual battle? You seem to flee before you are even engaged in battle.”) I do not view grace as an excuse for sin, but rather can say with Paul “through Him \[Jesus\] we have received grace… for obedience…” (Rom. 1:5). I do not have any addictions (pornography, alcohol, caffeine, prescription drugs, non-prescription products, etc.). I have a highly developed “sales resistance.”
Average for Self-Denial:

Future Orientation/Investment Mentality

I have at least a ten year plan I have at least a general outline of a 100-year plan. I plan my week, and I do so every week. I have aspirations of what I can pass on to my grandchildren. I am already making positive decisions that will benefit my children and grandchildren.

The Seven Laws of Harvest

These seven laws from Galatians 6 can be summarized as follows (rate yourself on your overall understanding of how to apply these in concrete ways):

  • We Reap Only When There Has Been Sowing (v. 7,8 “whatever a man sows, that he will also reap… he who sows…will…reap”; cf. 2Cor. 9:6; Prov. 19:17; 1Tim. 6:17-19)
  • We Reap The Same Kind As We Sow (vs. 7,8 “whatever…that” “flesh…Spirit”; cf. John 3:6-7; Gal. 6:7-8; Job. 4:8; Prov. 26:27; Psalm 7:15-16; James 3:18; Phil. 4:14-19; Mark 10:29-30; Luke 6:38; Prov 19:17; 2Cor. 9:6-11; etc.)
  • We Reap A Multiplied Increase Of What We Sow (v. 8 “corruption…everlasting life”; Gen. 26:12; Mark 4:20; Hos 8:7; Heb 12:15; cf. Prov. 4:18; 22:8; Hos. 8:7; 2 Sam. 11; 2 Sam. 12:5-6 with Ex. 22:1; Lev. 26:18,21 [discipline gets worse and worse 1x7x7x7x7-; Luke 6:38; Matt. 19:29; Eph. 3:20; 2Cor. 9:6; Prov. 19:17; 1Tim. 6:17-19; etc.)
  • We Reap In A Different Season Than We Sow (v. 9 “in due season”; James 5:7; Eccl. 11:1; Gal. 6:9; Prov. 11:18; Eccl. 8:11)
  • We Reap The Full Harvest Of The Good Only If We Persevere: The Evil Comes To Harvest On Its Own (vs. 6,9,10; cf. Gal. 6:9; 2John 1:8; Heb. 12:1-3; Rom. 5:3-4; Ps. 37:7; Heb. 10:32-36)
  • We Reap In Proportion to our Diligence (vv. 6,10; 2 Cor 9:6; Prov 12:27; Ecc. 9:10; Gal. 4:18; Prov. 10:4; 21:5; 12:24; 17:2; Matt 25:21; Deut. 4:29; Heb 11:6; Jer. 29:13; Deut. 6:5; 13:3ff; Rom. 12:11; Prov 8:17; Deut. 6:7; Prov. 3:5-6; 2 Cor 9:6-8; Ex. 15:26; etc.)
  • We Reap From the Sowing of Others (vv. 6,10; John 4:35-38)
  • We Cannot Do Anything About Last Year’s Bad Harvest, But We Can Do Something About This Year’s Harvest (“do not grow weary…lose heart”; cf. Phil. 3:13-14; Heb 6:1)
I understand the seven laws of harvest and am highly motivated by them. I do not easily get discouraged and give up (Gal. 6:9). I frequently think about how my actions will make a long-term difference. I think from an eternal perspective, and I rejoice in being able to lay up treasures in heaven. I have a retirement fund that I regularly put money into. I invest my money to gain better returns. I practice deferred gratification (denying myself pleasures now so that I can have more in the future). Proverbs 22:3 (and 27:12) describes me as a prudent man: “A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished.” Just as a good chess player can see several plays ahead, I can usually discern the long-term ramifications of theological decisions and personal decisions. When I vote, influence legislators and get involved culturally, I think about the long-term effects, not just short term gains.
Average for Future Orientation:

Love

I love God with my heart and delight in communion with Him. I love God with my mind and delight in studying about Him and about His good creation. I love God with my strength (my actions). I express my love to God every day. I have a great hunger for God’s Word. I diligently search for wisdom “as for hidden treasure” (Prov. 2:4) I can measure my love for God by the number of things in my life that I adjust because I want to please Him. I can measure my love for God by the number of things I do for others in Jesus’ name and for Jesus’ sake. I can measure my love by the degree of joy I have in seeing other believers walking in the truth (3John 4) I can measure my love by my willingness to overlook the failures, mistakes, weaknesses and shortcomings of other fellow believers. I can measure my love for the unsaved by the fact that I pray for them. I can measure my love for the unsaved by the fact that I evangelize them.
Average for Love:

Mission/Vision

I do not launch initiatives before thinking through questions of cost and resources (Luke 14:28-32) I am a ‘big picture’ leader never losing sight of the greater vision. I find it easy to communicate my vision to others. I believe that I have an eternal perspective on the mundane things that I do day by day. I am driven by the Greatness of the Great Commission as articulated in the four ‘all’s: all authority, all nations, all things Jesus commanded, & all the days. (see the Biblical Blueprints website; search for “Four Alls”) I have clearly defined core values. I am able to clearly articulate a specific philosophy of ministry. My mission/vision has been translated into prioritization of the things that I do, and is reflected in my schedule (i.e., high priority items are not neglected in the schedule).
Average for Mission/Vision:

Spiritual Warfare

I have total confidence that Satan was “bound” at the cross (Mark. 3:27; Luke 11:20; Rev. 20), and that his power is restricted and restrained (2Thes. 2:6f), that he has been rendered “powerless over believers” (Heb. 2:14), has been defeated, disarmed and spoiled (Col. 2:15; Rev. 12:7ff), that he has no authority over believers (Col. 1:13), that his works have been destroyed (1John 3:8) and that he must flee when he is resisted (James 4:7). This confidence has made me lose my fear of Satan. On the other hand, I recognize that this very defeat of Satan has made him enraged and that he does inflict pain and suffering upon the church through persecution (Rev. 12:11-17). I regularly take into account the demonic warfare that goes on behind the scenes (Eph. 6:12). I see Satan as the ruler over the world system (1John 5:19; John 12:31; 14:30; 16:11; Rev. 12:9; Matt. 4:8-11; Luke 4:5-8; 2Cor. 4:4) and thus the world stands in opposition to believers (1John 2:15-17; John 17:14). I recognize that Satan seeks to infiltrate the church through both teachers (2Cor. 11:13-15; 2 Pet. 2:1-19; cf. use of demons in 1Tim. 4:1-5) and false disciples (Matt. 13:38-39). I am competent in the “weapons of our warfare” that are used for “pulling down strongholds” (2Cor. 10:3-6) and do not “war according to the flesh” (v. 3). I know how to clothe myself in the armor of God and I regularly do so through prayer. I know how to take Satan to the courtroom of heaven and seek justice against Satan from God. I know the weak chinks in my armor that Satan takes advantage of. I can instantly recognize demonic attack in my life. I know how to dedicate a house to God and cleanse it of demons. I can sense when demonic activity has entered our house. I know which things and which compromises can easily give Satan legal grounds for afflicting me, and I know how to guard myself so that the wicked one cannot touch me (1John 5:18). I know how to cast out a demon. I have had success in praying warfare prayers against Satan’s kingdom. I have gone with others in prayer walking, invading Satan’s territory and claiming it for King Jesus. I know how to use the imprecatory prayers effectively against God’s enemies.
Average for Spiritual Warfare:

Spiritual Vitality

I presently have a rich and growing relationship with Jesus Christ. I have a daily time of prayer and Bible study. I memorize Scripture every day I meditate on Scripture daily. I come away from sermons and devotions with an action list. I regularly grow by implementing the action list. I think I can effectively lead the family in devotions. God is a normal part of every aspect of my discussions. I have no sacred/secular dichotomy in my life. All of life is service to God. I have a constant awareness of God’s presence and power in my life. I know what it means to “walk in the Spirit” (Gal. 5:16), “sing in the Spirit” (1Cor. 14:15), to “worship…in the Spirit” (Phil. 3:3), to “rejoice in the Holy Spirit” (1Thes. 1:6; Rom. 14:17), to “pray in the Spirit” (Jude 20; Eph. 6:18), “love in the Spirit” (Col. 1:18), be “led by the Spirit” (Matt. 4:1; Rom. 8:14; Gal. 5:18), be “moved by the Spirit” (Luke 2:27), be “compelled by the Spirit” (Acts 20:22 NIV) and to have my “mind controlled by the Spirit” (Rom. 8:6). I know what it means to have every part of me be controlled by the Spirit (Rom. 8:6,9) so that I might “live in the Spirit” (Gal. 5:25; Rom. 8:13). I want to be taught by the Holy Spirit (1Cor. 2:13), to speak by the Spirit since “no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit” (1Cor. 12:3). I know what it means to walk by faith. I have learned how to have a pure thought life.
Average for Spiritual Vitality:

Worship

I understand the Regulative Principle of Worship and could defend it from Scripture. I understand the degrees of flexibility that God allows within the regulative principle of worship. I understand both the need for awe (Heb. 12:28-29; Lev. 19:30; Eccl. 5:1; Mal. 1:6) and joy (Deut. 12:7,12,18; 14:26; Neh. 8:10) in worship. I can articulate the difference between formal worship and informal worship. I understand what it means to sing “with grace in your hearts” (Col. 3:16). My mind is always in gear when I sing (1Cor. 14:15) so that I am consciously worshipping and dwelling on wisdom, teaching and/or admonishment (Col. 3:16). The worship songs I sing are so filled with Scripture or Scriptural teaching that it causes “the word of Christ [to] dwell in you richly” (Col. 3:16). I know how to read parts in music. I practice for worship (Ps. 33:3; 1Chron. 25:7-8). I am skilled at knowing which Psalms to turn to for any given subject. I have learned how to base every aspect of my prayer life on the Word of God. I don’t preach at people in my prayers, but God is my object (Matt. 6:5). I seek to pray from the heart (Ezek. 33:31; Rom. 8:27), depending upon the Spirit to give a “spirit of supplication” and can honestly say that the Spirit stirs me up so that I am “praying in the Holy Spirit” (Jude 20). I use Saturday as a day of preparation for the Sunday Sabbath. I come to worship with my sins confessed and spiritually prepared (Is. 1:13; Amos 5:23; Psalm 50:16; Prov. 21:27). I understand the Reformed doctrine of the spiritual presence in the Lord’s Table. I am able to express emotions in a worship service. When I lead in family worship, I am able to personally worship without inhibition. I am not showy in worship, nor do I have any desire to entertain (Ezek. 33:30-32; 1Thes. 2:3-4; Gal. 1:10-11) I see worship as a sacrificial giving to the Lord of my best (Mal. 1:8,11,13,14; Heb. 13:15; Phil. 2:17; Psalm 33:3; 1Chron. 25:7-8). Therefore, I do not stay up late on Saturday night because this would make me dull for Sunday worship.
Average for Worship:

Bible Study

I have a strong sense of my utter dependence upon God when I read the Scriptures and I echo David’s cry, “Open my eyes that I may behold wonderful things out of Your law.” I know the rules for understanding the different literary styles found in the Bible. I have been following a systematic reading of the whole Bible. I have read through the entire Bible at least once every two years. I know how to do a word study. I know how to use a concordance to find things in the Bible. I know how to quickly find Biblical sites on a map. I can give the basic gist of each book of the Bible. I memorize verses every week. I have done topical studies of Proverbs (finding every verse in Proverbs that speaks to a given issue). I read a Psalm or a chapter of Proverbs every day. I have read at least one systematic theology textbook. I can give at least some Scripture to prove every major doctrine: the Trinity, God’s attributes, the deity and humanity of Jesus, the nature of man, the doctrine of salvation (calling, regeneration, repentance, faith, justification, adoption, sanctification, glorification), prayer, seven principles of church government, doctrine of Scripture, doctrine of angels, Satan and spiritual warfare, eschatology. I regularly read books that apply the Bible to life. I am consistent in applying what the Spirit teaches me from the Bible.
Average for Bible Study:

Evangelism

I am presently sharing my faith with nonbelievers. I pray for the lost regularly. I know how to share the basics of the Gospel in less than five minutes. I know how to share the Gospel in more detail over a period of an hour. I pray that God would give me the privilege of leading an unbeliever to Christ. I understand both the theology behind oikos evangelism as well as the statistics that show it to be God’s usual method. I understand both the theology of heads of households being the key to reaching households by the Gospel as well as the statistics that show it to be God’s usual method. God and His Word relate to everything in life, and therefore every part of my conversation tends to natural lead to talking about Him or His Word. I understand what it means to disciple one into the faith and the contrast between this and decisionalism.
Average for Evangelism:

Personal Integrity and Accountability (Moral Purity)

My life is consistent with my values. I have friends to whom I have given the freedom to point out my blind spots. I have an accountability partner who truly challenges me to grow. I never view pornography I use Covenant Eyes or some other form of accountability to help me avoid pornography and have two good accountability partners who see what websites I get onto. I do not abuse the Christian liberty of food. I am not overweight. I do not use alcohol to ‘take the edge off’. I am not involved in gambling. I am not involved in inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. I am not lazy or undisciplined. I am not a workaholic.
Average for Personal Integrity and Accountability:

Community Development

I am seeking to obey all the ‘one-another’ passages in scripture by developing meaningful relationships with other saints. I not only believe that every member should be involved in ministry, but I try to promote an every-member ministry. I regularly engage in hospitality. I participate in a small group. I am quick to greet new visitors at church and to dialogue with them. I do not dominate small group discussions. I seek to draw people into conversation with the use of good questions. I create an atmosphere of acceptance and forgiveness for past sins and failures.
Average for Community Development:

Stewardship (Personal and Church Finances)

I presently tithe. I give above and beyond the tithe. I give the first fruits of my time & talent to the ministry. I am a good steward of personal finances. I am a good steward of the clothing, books and assets that I have. I am generous with my money. I save money for emergencies, large future purchases and for retirement rather than borrowing money. I know the principles of wise investment. I buy my vehicles in cash (by saving up over several years) rather than going into debt. I do not have any debts other than house and business. I would not be embarrassed if someone were to look at my check register. I know how to counsel others out of debt. I can also teach them how to make a budget.
Average for Stewardship:

Life Planning and Management (Time Management, Stress Management)

I adapt quickly, flexibly and creatively to the unexpected I use my time very efficiently. I am able to do two things at once. I do not regularly operate in crisis mode I am regarded as someone who can bounce back after failure. I have a good mixture of seriousness and joy. I do not tend to blow in the wind of others’ opinions or get overwhelmed by people’s demands and agendas. I exemplify confidence in the sovereign control of God. I do not have a difficult time saying “no” simply because I fear the disapproval of people. Instead, I judge each request for help in view of God’s calling. I do not make commitments without considering time demands. Rather than trying to “invent the future” in my planning, I try to discern what God is doing and seek to align my plans to His providence. I demonstrate a flexible spirit out of confidence in God’s control over all things, God’s authority over me and God’s presence with me. I try to stay in good health through exercise, good sleep habits, and good eating habits. I have a daily five minute PEP and a weekly longer PEP. PEP = Prayer (for guidance), Evaluation of past and Planning for the future. I operate with a schedule and with a written to-do list. I am good at time management principles.
Average for Life Planning:

Networking/Gathering

I find great satisfaction in networking with other leaders and ministries. I am comfortable in working with people from varied socio/economic backgrounds. I can work well with people from varied evangelical backgrounds without compromising my theological convictions, without keeping quiet about the differences and without being obnoxious about those differences. I am a pioneer as I enjoy beginning projects from scratch. I am a gatherer as people are naturally drawn to follow me. I rejoice in the success of Kingdom minded churches in my community. I feel adequately trained to lead a team of innovative thinkers. I encourage cooperation / communication when I am put in charge of a project. I am not intimidated by more successful or wealthier people. I am aware of the spiritual challenges in my community. I value groups and encourage them to take on significant responsibilities. I am a team player.
Average for Networking/Gathering:

Leadership Skills (Decision Making, Problem Solving, Motivation, Leading through change)

I can see the need for change before others do. I am not simply a problem solver. I can see opportunities that can be exploited where others see only problems that need to be solved. I have a God-given desire to mobilize others even when there is strong resistance or inertia. I can quickly and simply explain the 5Cs and 4Ds of Christ’s leadership development to others.

For an excellent discussion of the 5Cs and 4Ds of leadership development, see books 2 and 4 of Malcolm Webber’s Spirit Led Leadership series. These can be purchased at www.sgai.org. The 5Cs are Christ, Community, Character, Calling and Competencies. The 4Ds are Spiritual, Relational, Experiential and Instructional.

I have the 5C’s of Christ, Community, Character, Calling and Competencies strongly anchored in my life. I am constantly seeking to improve this world and myself. I don’t accept the idea that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” I am able to focus on the three time horizons of leadership simultaneously: 1) maintaining core ministries, 2) building emerging ideas, strategies and processes and 3) planting seeds of innovation for the future. I know how to compensate for my own weaknesses through collaboration with others. I am good at helping others to succeed without needing credit for myself. I am great at delegation, empowering and inspiring, and follow up. I am quick to admit when I don’t know or when I have made a mistake, and I am just as quick to learn from my mistakes. I am able to make my conceptual visionary plans concrete enough that others want to buy into them. I know how to share the vision with stories, illustrations and word-pictures. I seek to clarify my vision by 1) seeking God’s will, 2) evaluating the past (weakness, strengths, patterns, etc), 3) testing my assumptions to see if I am being blinded to something that others can see. When I seek to motivate others I avoid the extremes of setting aspirations so high that it sounds like “big talk,” or of failing to capture people’s hearts because the vision is mediocre and easily achieved. I benefit from even “off the wall” criticism, and do not become bitter through unfair words. I try to see the kernel of truth in all criticism. I fit the following definition of leadership by Malcolm Webber: “A leader helps someone move from where he is now to somewhere else” and has a “capacity to influence others to move.” (See three parts of this in next three questions.) I am able to establish direction in a group. I am able to align people in that direction. I am able to motivate them to keep moving in that direction. I have servant leadership. I am truly interested in the welfare of others. I am not bossy when I lead. I am a good listener, and can get to the bottom of an issue by asking good questions. When leading people through change, I am able to help people understand why change is being made. I am skilled at aligning time, resources, and other people who share my vision in order to achieve biblical goals. Others recognize my leadership skills. I am a strategic critical thinker. I make decisions easily with confidence. When I lead a meeting, I do not allow meetings to get bogged down in unnecessary discussions and tangents. I can keep them on track. I am an effective problem solver. I do not have a difficult time following through on commitments. I am comfortable with other people receiving the credit for my efforts. I can clarify lines of authority with authority and grace. Prayer saturates my life. I have a strong sense of my calling and can describe that to others.
Average for Leadership Skills:

Leadership Development (Raising up the Next Generation of Leaders)

I am firmly convinced that God is the ultimate leader builder, and I can see Him at work in the lives of my siblings, parents and associates. If I were mentoring them in leadership, I would know many providential issues that I could capitalize on to help them grow. I regularly pray for the leadership growth of others. I am not just a book person, but I highly value the role that all the communities play in leadership development (family, church, business, small group, neighborhood, etc). I am convinced that people learn best by doing and through engagement. I know the principle by which Christ taught His disciples to grow through challenging assignments, and I know how to avoid giving assignments too high that they discourage or assignments too low that they are boring. I don’t put everyone into the same mould or expect everyone to do things my way. I value the diversity of gifts and personalities that God has given to the church. I understand the value of both team and individual learning assignments and would know how to use both in raising up another generation of leaders. I don’t try to protect people from God’s fires and pressures. Instead, I try to help them through the fire and to capitalize on the learning experience in light of Romans 8:28. I have a mentor to whom I turn for guidance and counsel. I am committed to raising up the next generation of leadership in my congregation. I am committed to raising up the next generation of leadership in my city. I can encourage an atmosphere of freedom that encourages people to find their own ministry. I am skilled at building lasting relationships. I regularly inspire confidence in others. I delegate effectively and try to delegate according to skills and giftings. I encourage people who have been through trials to minister to those facing similar difficulties. I encourage others to commit to support the work of the church by employing their God given talents. I am not threatened by other leaders who possess greater gifts than me.
Average for Leadership Development:

Ministry Management, Teams, Infrastructure

I have the ability to motivate others. I demonstrate a flexible spirit out of confidence in God’s control over all things, God’s authority over me and God’s presence with me. I am not vague and/or negative when telling team members about inadequate performance. Since I will likely be the father/shepherd of my home, I am learning how to equip others for the work of the ministry rather than doing the entire ministry myself. I work well on a team, cooperating and communicating effectively with others. I am able to administrate work groups in an efficient way. I do not despise administration. I return calls promptly and I regularly meet appointments. I do not allow jobs to expand to the amount of allotted time. Instead, I always seek to be more efficient. I have a system for effective follow-up and care. I find great satisfaction in giving others positions of significant responsibility.
Average for Ministry Management:

Conflict Management/Peacemaking

I do not know of any people who have hurt me in the past that I still feel deeply wounded by. I have read The Peacemaker by Ken Sande and know how to apply the principles in that book. I regularly teach principles of biblical peacemaking. I do not take the philosophy ‘let a sleeping dog lie’. I am able to confront others winsomely and gracefully. There is no one who has hurt me whom I have not forgiven. I courageously stand against those who would seek to divide the local body of believers. I understand and am personally committed to Biblical peacemaking. I am personally at peace with other members of the church. There are no outstanding offenses for which I need to ask forgiveness. I am skilled in bringing conflict out into the open in a constructive way. I am willing to enter into constructive conflict out of biblical love for others.
Average for Peacemaking:

Theological Soundness

I can give a Biblical proof for the main doctrines of Christendom, and am prepared to teach my children the doctrines below:

Doctrine of the Trinity Doctrine of the person and work of Christ (including atonement, pre-incarnate work, mediatorial work, prophet, priest and king, etc) Doctrine of the Holy Spirit Doctrine of the Bible, including its inspiration, inerrancy, sufficiency, power, nature, uses, etc. Doctrine of church government Doctrine of baptism Doctrine of salvation (including issues such as predestination, total depravity, calling, regeneration, justification, sanctification, glorification). Doctrine of angels and demons Doctrine of Creation A Biblical philosophy of history Biblical apologetics. Doctrine of eschatology I regularly search the Scriptures for answers to current issues, rather than simply taking someone else’s word for it. I understand the difference between orthodoxy and liberalism. I do not tend to discuss certain “pet” theological topics to the point of boredom and irritation. I am not combative, critical or defensive in my applications of Scripture, but rather, have a trust in God’s Spirit to open people’s eyes to the truths of the Bible.

I have clear, definite and thought-out biblical positions on the issues of life and am ready to teach my children how to think Biblically in the areas below:

Youth groups versus parental discipleship. The value of a good reputation Reverence/Respect for authority Chivalry Heroism The proper use of self-defense and weapons ownership. Why God is non-partisan and politicians must be partisan to God. Raising children, including discipline, instruction, and family worship. Building hedges to protect you from sinful lusts, how to flee from youthful lusts, how to gain purity of mind. Fervent prayer Fasting Biblical Economics versus socialism. Principles of stewardship Self-discipline Peer-pressure Cultural idolatry Environmentalism Medical ethics including problems with current definitions of death (“brain death,” “social death,” etc), government regulation, cloning, in vitro fertilization, etc. Biblical Counseling versus psychology Public education controversy. Honesty How to deal with envy How to fight for joy How to detect humanistic optimism and pessimism versus Biblical realism. Ways in which modern evangelicalism has compromised the five solas of the Reformation: Sola Scriptura, Sola Gratia, Solus Christus, Sola Fide, Sole Deo Gloria. Biblical Worship Self-sacrifice Biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. How to deal with anger Fighting temptation Why God gave us the genealogies Biblical work ethic Heaven Spiritual warfare Feminism Patriarchy Miracles Faithfulness Generosity Family Fertility Jealousy Fear of God The value of Wisdom Immaturity Biblical immigration Privacy The need for a new reformation Open Theism Mormonism Jehovah’s Witnesses Islam Shepherding/Discipleship Answering supposed contradictions in the Bible Modesty and proper attire for various occasions Courtship versus dating How to listen to a sermon Devotional time Meeting God is the “secret place” Confidence vs. Cowardice Exercise Memorization Our heritage of great heroes Success Hell Conflict resolution How to start a Bible study/prayer meeting Biblical principles of good communication and conversation skills How to read a newspaper How to inspire others A Biblical theology of persecution/suffering The Sabbath I can explain to another person how to gain control of impure thoughts through Biblical disciplines. I can articulate a thoroughly Biblical view of politics (such as a defense of the three branches of government, separation of powers, limited powers, delegated powers, Biblical penology, Biblical principles of court jurisprudence, etc.). I can defend the Bible’s position on parental involvement in education. I can defend from the Bible the regulative principle of government (that the family retains to itself all power, rights and ministries that are not explicitly given by the Bible to church government or state government). I can relate Biblical teaching to current events, issues, and human needs that appear in the newspaper. I can explain complex issues clearly and fairly to all sides. My theological convictions are not simply abstract, theoretical and scholastic. Every doctrine has practical applications to life.
Average for Theological Soundness:

Servant Leadership/Shepherd Understanding (Empathy, Listening Skills)

I build unity and mutual respect among different parts of the body of Christ. I understand the difference between Biblical leadership methods and worldly ones. I understand the dynamics of working with a team. I have a deep burden to see people made mature in Christ. Seeing God’s people suffer from their own sins or the sins of others grieves me. I do not tend to become overly absorbed in people, caring too much because of 1) a desire to be liked, 2) nor having a savior-complex or 3) nor having a fear of failure. I am not naively optimistic about people, nor overly cynical. I am able to develop relationships of honesty and trust through which I comfort and challenge my church. I demonstrate and communicate care for people in ways they can sense. In funerals I can be winsomely joyful yet exhibit that I enter into the family's grief. I respond graciously when called upon for help at an inconvenient time. People who know me well describe me as a good listener. I am able to share my beliefs and suggestions without forcing them on people. I am faithful and eager to visit and spend time with individuals. I do not tend to create in others a fear of failure and a fear of being found wrong. Instead, I create a love for ongoing growth in the Lord and love for ever-deepening truth.
Average for Servant Leadership:

Theology of Missions/Awareness of Issues Confronting the Global Church

I understand in practical terms what Christ meant when He said, “all authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth” (Matt. 28:18), and that makes a huge difference in my practice and training. I believe that the command to disciple all nations involves more than simply winning a few individuals out of all nations, and I believe this is an achievable goal. I understand what a nation would look like when it becomes discipled. I do not see Christ’s Second Coming as imminent because the mandate for missions given in Matthew 28:16-20 has not even remotely been finished. I understand what it means to baptize a nation (Matt 28:19). I believe that baptism replaces circumcision as the sign of the covenant, and that there is coming a day when it will be as extensive in every nation as circumcision was in Israel. In light of Christ’s command to teach the nations “all things” that He had commanded, and in light of Matthew 5:17-19, I am qualified to disciple nations in the case laws of the Old Testament. I have taught people “the least of these commandments” (Matt 5:19), which is found in Deuteronomy 22:6, just as Christ said that I should. Recognizing the huge danger of antinomians, I am still able to fulfill the admonition in 2 Timothy 2:24: “And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth” (2Tim. 2:24-25)? I have read quite widely on books that show how to disciple nations. I am very encouraged by Christ’s promise to be with us always, even to the end of the age (Matt. 28:20), and I have seen His power in my life. I have engaged in nation discipling in our own country. I believe that a healthy portion of the church budget should go toward nation discipling missions. I have an awareness of the global church, and read missions books regularly. I regularly pray for the persecuted church around the world. I have an awareness of issues confronting Global Church. I understand (and communicate to others) that missionaries are real people with real problems, just like every other follower of Jesus
Average for Theology of Missions:

Mercy and Justice

I have a clear understanding of George Grant’s books on Mercy Ministries. I am involved in mercy ministries fairly regularly. I can articulate the difference between a socialistic approach to poverty and a Biblical approach. I understand racial issues confronting the church, and can clearly articulate a Biblical theology against racism. I also understand how this differs from the dominant humanistic approaches to racism current in our nation. I know the social problems in my community, and could easily list at least 50 areas of need in our community that call for mercy ministries. I understand prison ministries, and am familiar with the opportunities at our local jail/prison. I regular fight for social justice (as Biblically defined). I am involved in the pro-life movement. I am skilled in applying the resources of the church to the social needs of my community. I personally value diaconal work and the mercy gifts. I believe that the gospel addresses the whole man. I am not fixated on one particular social issue.
Average for Mercy and Justice:

Understanding of Suffering, Personal Limitations, Acceptance of Cross

I possess a willingness to admit my limits, mistakes, sins and weaknesses. I have suffering in my life that has come about as a direct result of following Jesus Christ. As a result of viewing my ministry, others have grown in their love for Christ. In my life, I demonstrate that the Christian life is a work in process rather than a completed product. I deal honestly and forthrightly with the common temptations I face such as anger, anxiety, love of pleasure, self-love, materialism, perfectionism, and the like. I try to avoid wearing my heart on my sleeve, indulging and wallowing in my limits, mistakes, sins and weaknesses. I speak of weaknesses in such a way that (1) points to my confidence in Christ; (2) demonstrates my confidence in the grace of God; (3) edifies others. I do not overreact to criticism so as to become more discouraged than the critic intended. Through the lens of God’s grace, I can see the best even in cantankerous people. I can name at least 20 purposes that God has given for suffering. I understand my personal limitations / weaknesses. I would understand if God sought to bring persecution in America, as I believe suffering could create a stronger more committed church.
Average for Suffering/Personal Limitations:

Personal Life

I demonstrate quiet joy and confidence that comes from a sense of acceptance by the Father. I have developed a mission statement for my life, and this has been translated into priorities and into my schedule. I am not an anxious or fearful person. I am not easily aroused to anger, and when I do get angry, I resolve it quickly. I take full responsibility for my life and do not blame shift. I have no bitterness. I have learned with Paul to have “a conscience without offense toward God and men” (Acts 24:16). I know how to show others who to avoid a weak conscience, overly sensitive conscience, hardened conscience or a legalistic conscience. I am a peacemaker. I know how to overcome depression in myself. I understand the pitfalls of forgiveness and the lack of forgiveness. I know the Biblical principles of friendship. I know what my gifts are and how to use them to God’s glory. I know how to seek the Lord in guidance. I have gained mastery over the lusts of my flesh. I am trustworthy and void of deceit. I am ready for marriage. I use Biblical motivations to keep me going when I want to quit. I have no prejudice against minorities or other groups that are different than me. I have learned how to overcome procrastination. I am not lazy. I regularly give my “rights” to God and treat them as responsibilities of a steward instead. I am OK when God takes my “rights” away for a time. I have learned self-confrontation and rarely need to be confronted by others. I understand what makes me tick sexually and know how to guard myself so that I can enter marriage with purity. I have mastered the art of Scriptural meditation to the point that my thought life is for the most part controlled and under the discipline of the Spirit. I personally know how to engage in spiritual warfare. I know what vocation I want to pursue. My family is my primary ministry. I rarely experience serious domestic troubles, and when I do, they are quickly brought to peaceful resolution through Biblical means. I make an effort to have daily devotions. I am competent to lead my future family in family devotions/worship. I daily take time for my family. I spend time learning from Dad every week. I have a close group of friends who love me without condition. I have a male friend whom I would consider to be my best friend. I would not consider myself to be lonely. People who work closely with me would describe me as leading with integrity. I do not make demands of myself and others that God does NOT make.
Average for Personal Life:

Likeability/Sense of Humor

I possess a healthy sense of humor. If I were to get married and have children, I would be able to instruct my children in what kind of humor is unbiblical and what kind is Biblical. I would also be able to give tips on how to inject humor into life. My visible life and behavior are disciplined, consistent and attractive to others. I am not easily caught up in aggressions and fears produced by a drive to ensure control. In public forums I rarely express impatience or irritation with people. I do not find that I need to have the final say. I am not abrupt and impatient in my mannerisms. I am able to confront the failures of others in a way that in not punitive or irritable but is gracious. If someone were to tag along with me for a week, they would want to be my friend. I have not been told that I have socially offensive or irritating habits and mannerisms. I can laugh easily at myself. I am not overly subjective, nor do I gauge the Christian life by emotions and sentiment.
Average for Likeability:

Summary of scores

Communication
Joy
Faith
Prayer
Disciplines of Thought
Humility
Developing a Sonship Relationship vs. an Orphan Heart
Self-Denial/Mortification of Sin/Crucifixion
Future Orientation/Investment Mentality
Love
Mission/Vision
Spiritual Warfare
Spiritual Vitality
Worship
Bible Study
Evangelism
Personal Integrity and Accountability (Moral Purity)
Community Development
Stewardship (Personal and Church Finances)
Life Planning and Management (Time Management, Stress Management)
Networking/Gathering
Leadership Skills (Decision Making, Problem Solving, Motivation, Leading through change)
Leadership Development (Raising up the Next Generation of Leaders)
Ministry Management, Teams, Infrastructure
Conflict Management/Peacemaking
Theological Soundness
Servant Leadership/Shepherd Understanding (Empathy, Listening Skills)
Theology of Missions/Awareness of Issues Confronting the Global Church
Mercy and Justice
Understanding of Suffering, Personal Limitations, Acceptance of Cross
Personal Life
Likeability/Sense of Humor

Leader Development: A Mentoring Checklist for Sons and Young Men published on January 1, 2007


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